| it's been a while... |
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| 05:17pm 26/04/2007 |
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Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next-door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar 'pay' she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.' My goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fucking sheet rock.' |
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6 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| For C...you asked for it |
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| 09:06am 06/04/2006 |
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother." |
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2 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| 10:57am 15/03/2006 |
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Three guys-- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer --
are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie
pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three
wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son
will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was
forever made fertile for farming.
Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into
our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye,
there was a huge wall around those countries.
The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more
about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick
and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's
virtually impenetrable."
The American engineer says, "Fill it with water." |
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2 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| hee-hee |
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| 02:53pm 06/03/2006 |
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A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!" |
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2 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| Hmmmm... |
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| 10:26am 03/03/2006 |
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mood:  lazy
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I went to Farm Fresh (a local grocer) last night and saw that they have a new way of checking out. They have a machine where you can swipe your credit card, place your finger on a screen and it takes an image of your print. Then, when you go to pay thereafter, you just put your finger on this reader and it bills your card. I am very intrigued by that, but I haven't decided yet if that is really freaking cool or really freaking scary. Thoughts? Anyone...anyone...Bueller? |
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8 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| a klutz at heart |
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| 08:45am 01/03/2006 |
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mood:  embarrassed
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As I was leaving the house this morning, I stepped wrong going down the first step on my stoop. I twisted my ankle, stumbled down, and landed on one knee. Good news: I managed to hang on to my coffee. Bad news: as Barb was dressed to the nines this morning leaving in front of me, all the eyes from the construction crew working in my court were on us. Gosh, I felt like such a d*ck... |
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6 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| 08:36am 01/03/2006 |
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mood: lazy
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I really enjoy movies/dvd's, but rarely recommend anything as most of what comes out is crap. However, if you have 2-1/4 hours to spare, throw "Walk The Line" into your dvd player. It's well worth the watch.
A kid joke...
A teacher was having a tasting day where she would put candy in the kids' mouth and they would guess what it was. She went to the first little boy and put a Hershey's Kiss in his mouth.
"Can you guess what it is?"
"I don't know," said the boy.
"I'll give you a hint. It's something your daddy asks your mommy for every morning."
The girl next to the boy says "Spit it out...it's a piece of ass." |
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1 guitar player - strum a chord |
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| 12:29pm 23/02/2006 |
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mood:  nostalgic
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It is odd how some insignificant little thing can put something into perspective...like your age. My mom called me from Florida this morning after unpacking some boxes from their recent move there. She told me she found one of my old 8 track tapes in a box. After 50 questioning her about which one it was, I narrowed it down to Van Halen's first album. I remember being in 8th grade using my lawn cutting money to buy that as Van Halen was the hottest thing since KISS. I would lay in bed every night with my head phones plugged into my boom box and fall asleep to that 8 track fantasizing I was Eddie. Van Halen has been together since 1974 (well, at least 3 of the originals) and were still touring in 2004. Man, the little things... |
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4 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| 04:54pm 13/02/2006 |
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Chances are they'll forget what you said...chances are they'll forget what you did...but they will always remember how you made them feel |
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3 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| 01:08pm 13/02/2006 |
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mood:  worried
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After initially doing my taxes last weekend, I found I owed the IRS $2900.00. However, I made a mistake in doing my taxes. I failed to mark a box that needed to be marked regarding an early withdrawal from my IRA. After marking the box as needed, I was informed I no longer I owe the IRS $2900.00. I now owe them $5014.00. Monetary donations can be made to:
J Kennedy
Inmate # 123654
Alcatraz Island, CA 90210 |
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7 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| doom and gloom |
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| 03:06pm 26/01/2006 |
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"Hey, Daddy. Leave me a message. Bye. I love you. I`m so sorry you died. But sometimes it happens, but sometimes it doesn`t. But you have to go the other way, the protect way, cannot go the back of the way. Understand? In the picture I saw. I love you. Bye."
"Hi, Daddy. Leave me a message. Bye. I hope you get better. I miss you."
Above are two voice mails left on the phone of Sean Keel by his 4 year old daughter, Vanessa...after finding out that her daddy had been killed by two pieces of shit with a machine gun in a carjacking. The car was later found missing it's rims. Freaking car rims. Now a four year old little girl and her five month old sister will be raised without their daddy because two useless fucks wanted a set of rims to pawn off for money for drugs.
What about the story of Rachel and Lillian Entwistle (mother, 27 and daughter, 9 months) found shot to death in their bed inside their New England home? Coincidentally, the husband left for Europe and is not coming home to take care of things. Is he a suspect...of course not. He is a "person of interest". Find his ass, bring him back to the United States, and put him in the same electric chair with Scott Peterson.
I really need to stop watching Nancy Grace before bedtime...the world used to be a happier place for me. |
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3 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| Love what you do and do what you love... |
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| 02:56pm 01/11/2005 |
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I was listening to a motivational cd at lunch today and a part of it really caught my ear. It told how if you do what you love and love what you do, you will never work another day in your life. The speaker went on and asked, "What is it that you love to do? What is it that comes easily for you but difficult for others? If every job in the world paid $1.00 an hour, which job would you take? If you only had 6 months to live, how would you spend that time? That is what you should be doing". I love listening to these speakers as I get a lot of great advice, but I just don't remember my high school guidance counselor telling me I could get a job sitting around playing guitar, eating pepperoni and mushroom pizza, and watching dirty movies in my boxers. What high school did he go to? |
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6 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| a fat guy joke I was just told |
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| 04:55pm 27/10/2005 |
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A big fat guy was in a public rest room taking a whizz at one of the urinals. A guy came up next to and began to go, as well. He looks at the fat guy and says, "damn dude, you're so fat you can't even see your dick. Maybe you should diet.". The fat guys says "why...what color is it now?" Ewwwwwww |
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1 guitar player - strum a chord |
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| A little teasing never hurt anyone, right? |
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| 05:53pm 26/10/2005 |
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Hey Denise...what about doing a podcast on the "Magic 8 Ball". I think that would be riveting.
Let's see...after 16 years of friendship, is Dee Dee still going to be my friend after she reads this? (J picks up the Magic 8 Ball...shake, shake, shake)..."Outlook Not So Good"......damnnnnnnnnnn Hee-hee |
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strum a chord |
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| Props to 1wildheart |
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| 09:51am 26/10/2005 |
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So, I get a request yesterday from 1wildheart asking for my password to my account. She said she had some ideas to change my journal. I was a little "skurred" at first as I thought I would log on and find my page filled with flowers, kitty cats, and penises, but check it out! I'm totally digging the guitars! C, you did a great job and I really appreciate it. I'll have to go in and change the Beavis pic to something more like the background. Thanks so much! |
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4 guitar players - strum a chord |
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| a joke |
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| 08:52am 24/10/2005 |
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Every Sunday after church, the Smith family visits the local pet store seeking a new pet for their three kids. One Sunday while visiting the store, they walk up on a beautiful parrot. The parrot calls out to the father, "Hey Meester". The father asks "What?". The parrot replies, "your wife's got a really fat ass". Upset, Mr. Smith rushes his family out of the store. The following sunday they return. As they approach the same parrot, the parrot calls out, "Hey Meester". Again, Mr. Smith says "what" and the parrot replies with "Your wife's got a really fat ass". Again, he rushes his family out of the store. This continues on for the next couple of visits until Mr. Smith gets angry enough and approaches the store owner. He tells the owner "My family and I come here every Sunday to look at pets. We've bought all our pets here and buy all of our supplies here. Lately each week, we come in and this parrot keeps telling me that my wife has got a really fat ass. If something is not done about this abuse, you will lose my business forever." The store owner reassures him the bird will "never say that again". The following Sunday, the Smiths show up for their weekly visit. As Mr. Smith gets closer to the parrot, they begin to eyeball each other. When Mr. smith and his family are finally next to the bird, the parrot calls out "Hey Meester". My Smith turns and angrily yells "WHAT?". The bird hesitates and then just says "you know what!". ( : |
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4 guitar players - strum a chord |
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aslowburn's journal